Phim hai phụ đề tiếng anh tiếng việt phim Mom phần 1 tập 9

1
00:00:03,340 –> 00:00:05,840
Hi, I’m Bonnie, I’m an alcoholic.

2
00:00:05,840 –> 00:00:07,360
Hi, Bonnie.

3
00:00:07,630 –> 00:00:10,000
I know I usually use this forum

4
00:00:10,000 –> 00:00:13,050
to talk about my romantic travails.

5
00:00:13,290 –> 00:00:15,610
AKA “Fellatio.”

6
00:00:17,820 –> 00:00:20,530
But that’s not what I’m
struggling with right now.

7
00:00:20,530 –> 00:00:23,100
Five bucks says she’s got the clap.

8
00:00:25,370 –> 00:00:27,080
The thing is, I…

9
00:00:27,470 –> 00:00:30,290
lost my job, and I’m really scared.

10
00:00:31,240 –> 00:00:33,980
I was just barely making ends meet, before.

11
00:00:34,020 –> 00:00:36,190
But now, I just, I don’t know.

12
00:00:36,860 –> 00:00:38,960
And guess who didn’t save
anything for a rainy day?

13
00:00:42,220 –> 00:00:43,690
Well, it’s not my fault, really.

14
00:00:43,690 –> 00:00:45,530
I mean, who knew I was
gonna live this long?

15
00:00:45,980 –> 00:00:46,840
Not me.

16
00:00:46,990 –> 00:00:49,810
Or the paramedic who jump-started
my heart at Burning Man.

17
00:00:51,290 –> 00:00:53,800
All I know is I been coming
around here for two years,

18
00:00:53,800 –> 00:00:56,530
taking suggestions, trying to
be a “Better person,” and…

19
00:00:57,370 –> 00:00:59,170
feels like my life is worse than ever.

20
00:00:59,180 –> 00:01:00,510
Thanks for letting me share.

21
00:01:01,270 –> 00:01:03,290
She still could have the clap.

22
00:01:22,690 –> 00:01:25,410
I am craving a Cobb salad.
What are you getting?

23
00:01:26,450 –> 00:01:27,970
I was just gonna get some tea.

24
00:01:28,570 –> 00:01:29,970
Do you want to talk about this?

25
00:01:30,250 –> 00:01:31,870
What’s to talk? It’s Cobb salad.

26
00:01:33,040 –> 00:01:35,730
Bonnie, your daughter
is concerned about you.

27
00:01:35,730 –> 00:01:36,950
Oh? Why?

28
00:01:37,170 –> 00:01:38,500
You lost your job.

29
00:01:38,500 –> 00:01:40,850
And didn’t perform any other kind of jobs.

30
00:01:42,010 –> 00:01:43,250
Don’t like you.

31
00:01:43,250 –> 00:01:44,570
Don’t like you, back.

32
00:01:45,750 –> 00:01:47,888
Well, you can all stop worrying.

33
00:01:47,889 –> 00:01:49,090
I’m doing fine.

34
00:01:49,090 –> 00:01:51,560
You know what Fine stands for, don’t you?

35
00:01:51,560 –> 00:01:56,420
F-I-N-E. Frustrated, Insecure,
Neurotic and Emotional.

36
00:01:56,550 –> 00:01:59,770
Wow, does everyone want to
strangle you, or just me?

37
00:02:01,050 –> 00:02:03,240
Bonnie, you have to get honest.

38
00:02:03,240 –> 00:02:06,190
Humble, Open, Non-judgmental…

39
00:02:06,190 –> 00:02:08,800
– Shut it.
– …Egoless, Spiritual and Trusting.

40
00:02:11,190 –> 00:02:13,330
Mom, we’re just trying to help.

41
00:02:13,330 –> 00:02:14,660
But you can’t help me.

42
00:02:14,660 –> 00:02:16,830
Do you know how hard it is in this economy

43
00:02:16,840 –> 00:02:18,770
for a woman over 40 to get a job?

44
00:02:18,770 –> 00:02:20,370
Oh, who the hell are you kidding?

45
00:02:20,370 –> 00:02:22,430
You’re closer to death than 40.

46
00:02:24,580 –> 00:02:26,460
Tread lightly, Oprah.

47
00:02:28,050 –> 00:02:30,780
You know, sometimes, when
I’m having a hard time,

48
00:02:30,780 –> 00:02:33,300
what gets me through is finding someone

49
00:02:33,300 –> 00:02:36,000
who’s worse off than me and helping them.

50
00:02:36,010 –> 00:02:38,340
Call the Pope, we have a saint.

51
00:02:40,410 –> 00:02:41,790
Look, I am touched

52
00:02:41,790 –> 00:02:43,270
that you’re all concerned about me,

53
00:02:43,280 –> 00:02:44,980
but I don’t think anyone here

54
00:02:44,980 –> 00:02:46,610
is in a position to offer advice.

55
00:02:46,610 –> 00:02:49,530
Certainly not from the woman
who has four cats in her will.

56
00:02:51,350 –> 00:02:53,870
Hey, you know what “CAT” stands for, right?

57
00:02:53,870 –> 00:02:55,930
Crazy, Annoying, Twit.

58
00:02:58,430 –> 00:03:00,010
And you’re out on bail.

59
00:03:00,010 –> 00:03:02,400
You’ve been sober for, what, half an hour?

60
00:03:02,400 –> 00:03:04,400
Please, shine a light on my darkness.

61
00:03:04,400 –> 00:03:06,440
Take me to the river.

62
00:03:08,040 –> 00:03:11,060
I don’t have to sit here and be abused. Regina?

63
00:03:11,860 –> 00:03:14,630
One of these days, you and me are gonna throw down.

64
00:03:14,760 –> 00:03:15,870
Hard.

65
00:03:23,860 –> 00:03:24,980
I’m gonna go out on a limb

66
00:03:24,990 –> 00:03:26,430
and say you didn’t lose your job

67
00:03:26,430 –> 00:03:27,910
because of the economy.

68
00:03:35,730 –> 00:03:37,190
I can’t find my jeans.

69
00:03:37,250 –> 00:03:39,210
I’m wearing them. None of mine fit me

70
00:03:39,210 –> 00:03:40,470
because of your baby.

71
00:03:40,800 –> 00:03:42,920
How come it’s my baby
when it makes you fart

72
00:03:42,930 –> 00:03:44,420
and not fit in your pants?

73
00:03:46,900 –> 00:03:47,710
Hey.

74
00:03:47,710 –> 00:03:49,470
Welcome home.

75
00:03:51,550 –> 00:03:52,900
Why aren’t you wearing pants?

76
00:03:52,910 –> 00:03:54,440
Oh, because I’m a good father.

77
00:03:55,390 –> 00:03:56,910
Go put something on.

78
00:03:56,910 –> 00:03:58,030
– Well, but, she’s got my… – Go.

79
00:03:58,030 –> 00:03:59,980
I’m seeing shapes. I can’t see shapes.

80
00:04:02,910 –> 00:04:04,130
You’re in a mood.

81
00:04:04,350 –> 00:04:05,450
Sorry.

82
00:04:05,450 –> 00:04:07,300
I’m upset about your grandma.

83
00:04:07,650 –> 00:04:08,700
You guys get in an argument?

84
00:04:08,700 –> 00:04:09,680
I don’t know.

85
00:04:10,400 –> 00:04:12,220
She lost her job, but…

86
00:04:12,220 –> 00:04:13,840
something else is going on.

87
00:04:14,990 –> 00:04:16,160
I’m really worried.

88
00:04:16,420 –> 00:04:18,840
Now you know how I felt
for the last ten years.

89
00:04:18,840 –> 00:04:19,957
What are you talking about?

90
00:04:19,958 –> 00:04:21,530
You want me to walk you through

91
00:04:21,530 –> 00:04:23,470
what it was like around here
when you were drinking?

92
00:04:23,750 –> 00:04:24,760
That’s okay.

93
00:04:24,840 –> 00:04:26,070
Save it for therapy.

94
00:04:26,070 –> 00:04:28,110
Which Mommy will pay for.

95
00:04:30,690 –> 00:04:32,550
Don’t say a word.

96
00:04:36,370 –> 00:04:38,570
Luke’s parents can pay for his therapy.

97
00:04:53,310 –> 00:04:54,290
Mom?

98
00:04:54,700 –> 00:04:56,430
Hidey-ho.

99
00:05:02,730 –> 00:05:04,470
What are you doing out there?

100
00:05:04,610 –> 00:05:06,040
Skipping out on a taxi.

101
00:05:06,040 –> 00:05:07,040
Get out of my way.

102
00:05:07,700 –> 00:05:08,974
Well, well, let me, let me help you.

103
00:05:08,975 –> 00:05:09,540
I got it.

104
00:05:09,540 –> 00:05:10,730
– Careful. – I got it, I got it.

105
00:05:10,730 –> 00:05:11,530
Careful…

106
00:05:13,650 –> 00:05:14,520
What happened?

107
00:05:16,630 –> 00:05:18,240
Come on, get up. Get up.

108
00:05:21,470 –> 00:05:22,350
Have you been drinking?

109
00:05:22,350 –> 00:05:24,150
No, no.

110
00:05:24,540 –> 00:05:25,520
Maybe a little.

111
00:05:27,330 –> 00:05:31,800
Mom, why? You’ve just thrown two
years out the window.

112
00:05:32,510 –> 00:05:35,050
And then I climbed back in the window.

113
00:05:35,630 –> 00:05:37,110
You’re a tough audience.

114
00:05:39,410 –> 00:05:41,400
Is this because you lost your job?

115
00:05:41,400 –> 00:05:42,530
And my apartment.

116
00:05:42,540 –> 00:05:43,730
And my car.

117
00:05:43,980 –> 00:05:45,110
Well, nobody actually took that,

118
00:05:45,110 –> 00:05:46,420
I just can’t find it.

119
00:05:47,220 –> 00:05:48,820
Wait, you lost your apartment?

120
00:05:48,820 –> 00:05:51,800
The bastards require rent
every month, it’s ridiculous.

121
00:05:53,450 –> 00:05:54,650
Oh, God.

122
00:05:54,920 –> 00:05:56,360
Can I live with you a while?

123
00:05:56,360 –> 00:05:58,930
You know, just till I get it together?

124
00:05:59,740 –> 00:06:01,400
Yeah, I guess.

125
00:06:01,610 –> 00:06:02,560
Thanks.

126
00:06:02,840 –> 00:06:04,710
You won’t even know I’m here.

127
00:06:06,910 –> 00:06:07,860
Mom?

128
00:06:09,040 –> 00:06:10,440
I’m peeing.

129
00:06:11,270 –> 00:06:11,930
Oh, no, no. No-no-no.

130
00:06:11,930 –> 00:06:12,870
No-no-no-no-no.

131
00:06:12,870 –> 00:06:14,930
No, no, no, no, no. Hold on.

132
00:06:15,700 –> 00:06:16,670
Where we going? Where we going?

133
00:06:16,670 –> 00:06:17,410
Bathroom.

134
00:06:23,170 –> 00:06:24,540
You finish your book report?

135
00:06:24,540 –> 00:06:25,170
Yup.

136
00:06:25,170 –> 00:06:26,580
Did you read the book?

137
00:06:26,700 –> 00:06:28,090
Whose side are you on?

138
00:06:32,410 –> 00:06:33,610
I forgot to tell you:

139
00:06:33,800 –> 00:06:34,850
Grandma’s here.

140
00:06:36,260 –> 00:06:37,950
She doesn’t sound so good.

141
00:06:39,920 –> 00:06:41,120
Wait till you see her.

142
00:06:47,040 –> 00:06:48,330
Morning, all.

143
00:06:49,910 –> 00:06:51,270
Holy crap.

144
00:06:51,280 –> 00:06:53,350
Be nice to me or I’ll kiss you.

145
00:06:55,400 –> 00:06:57,070
Why do you look like a zombie?

146
00:06:57,150 –> 00:07:00,160
Because I’m dead inside.

147
00:07:00,160 –> 00:07:02,710
Okeydokey, let’s get you ready for school.

148
00:07:11,920 –> 00:07:14,110
Look at you, getting all fat.

149
00:07:19,940 –> 00:07:21,680
All right, I got to get to work.

150
00:07:22,500 –> 00:07:23,620
You gonna be okay?

151
00:07:25,210 –> 00:07:26,090
Yeah.

152
00:07:27,430 –> 00:07:29,110
When was the last time you ate something?

153
00:07:29,570 –> 00:07:30,500
I’m not sure.

154
00:07:30,500 –> 00:07:31,810
I threw up some pasta.

155
00:07:32,880 –> 00:07:35,840
I know. You can’t just keep drinking coffee.

156
00:07:35,840 –> 00:07:37,340
You’ve got to put something
in your stomach.

157
00:07:37,340 –> 00:07:38,280
Maybe later.

158
00:07:38,560 –> 00:07:41,020
Will you bring me back some
soup from the restaurant?

159
00:07:41,120 –> 00:07:41,960
Sure.

160
00:07:43,550 –> 00:07:44,670
I’m so sorry.

161
00:07:44,670 –> 00:07:45,710
Yeah, whatever.

162
00:07:45,710 –> 00:07:46,450
Oh, come on.

163
00:07:46,450 –> 00:07:47,870
What do you want me to say?

164
00:07:47,870 –> 00:07:49,440
I don’t want you to say anything.

165
00:07:49,440 –> 00:07:52,170
I have been listening to
your apologies all my life.

166
00:07:52,460 –> 00:07:55,800
“I’m sorry I snuck you out of
the country in a pet carrier.”

167
00:07:57,500 –> 00:08:00,310
“I’m sorry we lived in a
commune in Argentina.”

168
00:08:00,530 –> 00:08:03,570
“I’m sorry I accidentally
left you in Argentina.”

169
00:08:05,040 –> 00:08:06,900
But this apology is different.

170
00:08:06,900 –> 00:08:08,850
I really mean it this time.

171
00:08:08,890 –> 00:08:09,560
Is that so?

172
00:08:09,560 –> 00:08:11,880
I never want to feel like this again.

173
00:08:11,880 –> 00:08:14,710
I will do anything to get sober.

174
00:08:14,870 –> 00:08:15,620
Anything?

175
00:08:15,620 –> 00:08:18,030
Whatever it takes, I am so ready.

176
00:08:18,790 –> 00:08:19,730
That’s good.

177
00:08:20,040 –> 00:08:22,440
‘Cause I invited a couple
friends over to help out.

178
00:08:23,330 –> 00:08:24,190
Come on in.

179
00:08:24,490 –> 00:08:25,990
No, no!

180
00:08:27,300 –> 00:08:28,130
Not them.

181
00:08:28,130 –> 00:08:29,570
Anything but them.

182
00:08:29,810 –> 00:08:32,130
You peed in the bed, now lie in it.

183
00:08:34,310 –> 00:08:36,390
It’s time to heal, Bonnie.

184
00:08:36,390 –> 00:08:37,720
Health, Energy,

185
00:08:37,720 –> 00:08:39,900
Abstinence and Love.

186
00:08:40,420 –> 00:08:41,200
Screw that.

187
00:08:41,200 –> 00:08:42,610
You’re mine, bitch.

188
00:08:51,540 –> 00:08:52,710
You want to start?

189
00:08:53,050 –> 00:08:53,950
No.

190
00:08:54,050 –> 00:08:56,110
Okay, I’ll go first.

191
00:08:56,760 –> 00:08:59,520
Hi, I’m Marjorie, I’m an alcoholic.

192
00:08:59,720 –> 00:09:00,580
Hi, Marjorie.

193
00:09:00,580 –> 00:09:01,950
Oh, bite me.

194
00:09:04,100 –> 00:09:07,020
It’s been 32 years since my last drink.

195
00:09:07,020 –> 00:09:09,780
And 14 years since your last orgasm.

196
00:09:13,070 –> 00:09:14,330
Sorry, it was funny.

197
00:09:16,440 –> 00:09:20,820
I got rolling with drugs and
alcohol during the ’60s.

198
00:09:20,920 –> 00:09:22,630
I was living in San Francisco.

199
00:09:22,630 –> 00:09:24,880
You know, the whole hippie thing.

200
00:09:25,130 –> 00:09:28,240
Free love, end the war, heroin.

201
00:09:28,340 –> 00:09:29,360
Heroin?

202
00:09:29,880 –> 00:09:32,060
Just nights and weekends.

203
00:09:34,870 –> 00:09:38,140
Long story short, 1981– I look around–

204
00:09:38,140 –> 00:09:42,700
all the hippies have gone back to school or got jobs, bought condos.

205
00:09:43,340 –> 00:09:46,890
And I’m a homeless bag lady
living in Golden Gate Park.

206
00:09:47,950 –> 00:09:48,930
Okay.

207
00:09:49,230 –> 00:09:50,450
You got my attention.

208
00:09:50,450 –> 00:09:52,070
I didn’t want to live anymore.

209
00:09:52,250 –> 00:09:55,460
And, despite my best efforts,
I didn’t know how to die.

210
00:09:55,880 –> 00:09:57,250
So I went to a meeting

211
00:09:57,250 –> 00:10:00,500
’cause they had free cookies,
and somebody told a story

212
00:10:00,510 –> 00:10:03,420
that made me look like Princess Grace.

213
00:10:04,540 –> 00:10:05,990
So I stuck around,

214
00:10:06,530 –> 00:10:08,750
got a job, got teeth,

215
00:10:09,000 –> 00:10:10,130
got a husband.

216
00:10:10,130 –> 00:10:11,230
In that order.

217
00:10:13,300 –> 00:10:17,620
32 years later, I am still
very grateful to be sober.

218
00:10:19,010 –> 00:10:19,990
Regina?

219
00:10:20,860 –> 00:10:22,080
Oh, okay.

220
00:10:22,690 –> 00:10:24,070
Come on, heroin?

221
00:10:25,980 –> 00:10:28,740
You got to be really high to rob banks.

222
00:10:31,410 –> 00:10:32,860
You think you know someone.

223
00:10:35,110 –> 00:10:36,960
Regina. Alcoholic.

224
00:10:36,960 –> 00:10:38,250
Hi, Regina.

225
00:10:39,250 –> 00:10:41,040
Well, let’s see, uh…

226
00:10:41,220 –> 00:10:42,860
I’m going through a divorce.

227
00:10:43,050 –> 00:10:44,900
My kid’s not talking to me.

228
00:10:45,320 –> 00:10:48,300
I’m working at a supermarket
bagging groceries.

229
00:10:48,370 –> 00:10:51,070
I’ve been indicted for
embezzling $3.5 million,

230
00:10:51,070 –> 00:10:52,610
I’m probably going to jail.

231
00:10:53,400 –> 00:10:54,890
And I’m terrified.

232
00:10:55,930 –> 00:10:58,320
But the good news is, due to recent events,

233
00:10:58,710 –> 00:11:00,310
I’m doing better than you.

234
00:11:02,060 –> 00:11:02,900
Bonnie.

235
00:11:03,070 –> 00:11:04,820
Thank you, Regina.

236
00:11:09,450 –> 00:11:11,340
Hi. I’m Bonnie.

237
00:11:12,620 –> 00:11:14,140
I’m an alcoholic.

238
00:11:14,400 –> 00:11:15,780
Hi, Bonnie.

239
00:11:15,990 –> 00:11:17,760
I’ve been sober for…

240
00:11:17,980 –> 00:11:20,330
Oh, man, where’s my watch?

241
00:11:23,560 –> 00:11:25,630
Well… not long.

242
00:11:26,450 –> 00:11:31,030
Anyway, I started drinking
when I was 15, 16 years old.

243
00:11:31,860 –> 00:11:35,860
In the foster care system, getting bounced around from house to house.

244
00:11:36,630 –> 00:11:38,710
Teenage kids aren’t real desirable.

245
00:11:40,290 –> 00:11:42,580
Especially when they steal
your kitchen appliances.

246
00:11:44,820 –> 00:11:46,080
I met this…

247
00:11:46,730 –> 00:11:48,380
really cool guy.

248
00:11:50,000 –> 00:11:52,330
Sold him a microwave at a flea market.

249
00:11:54,860 –> 00:11:57,230
We fell in love and ran off together,

250
00:11:57,510 –> 00:12:00,320
had Christy, then he ran off alone.

251
00:12:10,860 –> 00:12:13,310
And… I…

252
00:12:15,030 –> 00:12:16,370
And, uh…

253
00:12:19,190 –> 00:12:22,210
I tried to be a good single mom,

254
00:12:22,210 –> 00:12:25,530
but as we all know, I
didn’t exactly nail it.

255
00:12:28,330 –> 00:12:29,640
But I tried.

256
00:12:30,560 –> 00:12:32,990
And I’m still trying.

257
00:12:33,890 –> 00:12:35,580
But then, this morning,

258
00:12:35,580 –> 00:12:37,550
when I saw the look of disappointment

259
00:12:37,550 –> 00:12:39,610
on Christy’s face, it just…

260
00:12:41,330 –> 00:12:43,630
reminded me of all the
times that I let her down.

261
00:12:49,080 –> 00:12:49,990
Damn.

262
00:12:53,610 –> 00:12:55,590
I got to fix this. Yeah.

263
00:12:55,670 –> 00:12:57,960
I got to fix this right now.

264
00:12:58,750 –> 00:13:00,810
Wait. Where are you going?

265
00:13:00,810 –> 00:13:02,920
I got to apologize to my baby girl.

266
00:13:06,630 –> 00:13:09,080
Oh, damn. She took my keys.

267
00:13:13,310 –> 00:13:14,210
Are we done?

268
00:13:14,740 –> 00:13:15,660
Can I go home?

269
00:13:22,590 –> 00:13:24,520
Oh! My halibut’s not ready yet?

270
00:13:24,520 –> 00:13:25,660
Chef Rudy, what is going on?

271
00:13:25,660 –> 00:13:28,150
People are waiting 45
minutes for their entrees.

272
00:13:30,000 –> 00:13:30,970
It’s cool.

273
00:13:31,780 –> 00:13:34,690
Oh, God, is everyone in
my life getting loaded?

274
00:13:37,340 –> 00:13:38,980
What the hell is going on in here?

275
00:13:39,010 –> 00:13:41,010
Ask Snoop Dogg and Dre.

276
00:13:44,430 –> 00:13:45,780
You’re smoking dope?

277
00:13:45,780 –> 00:13:47,350
Yeah. You want a hit?

278
00:13:48,110 –> 00:13:48,910
Sure.

279
00:13:50,920 –> 00:13:52,720
Your halibut will be up in a minute.

280
00:13:52,720 –> 00:13:57,360
I brought you another glass of
wine, just for the “Halibut”.

281
00:13:58,620 –> 00:13:59,810
There’s my baby.

282
00:13:59,880 –> 00:14:01,310
Oh, my… oh, my God.
What are you doing here?

283
00:14:01,310 –> 00:14:03,880
I have been a terrible mother to you.

284
00:14:03,880 –> 00:14:05,910
Yeah, the worst. Why don’t
we talk about it at home?

285
00:14:05,910 –> 00:14:09,350
Well, you-you need to know that I
will never let you down again.

286
00:14:09,350 –> 00:14:10,780
I got it. Message received.

287
00:14:10,780 –> 00:14:12,130
– I have to get back to work. – No.

288
00:14:12,130 –> 00:14:13,118
You have worked enough.

289
00:14:13,119 –> 00:14:14,320
Let me lighten your load.

290
00:14:14,320 –> 00:14:15,700
Okay, it’s not a load, Mom. It’s…

291
00:14:15,700 –> 00:14:18,110
– Hi. I’m Bonnie. I’ll be your server.
– Hi.

292
00:14:19,300 –> 00:14:20,910
Why, you folks don’t have any bread.

293
00:14:20,910 –> 00:14:22,530
Why don’t I go get you some?

294
00:14:24,170 –> 00:14:25,780
Mom? Mom?!

295
00:14:27,810 –> 00:14:29,320
Son of a bitch!

296
00:14:30,300 –> 00:14:31,630
This is good weed.

297
00:14:33,630 –> 00:14:36,970
I couldn’t find any bread, so
I brought you another candle.

298
00:14:38,680 –> 00:14:41,220
Come on, Bonnie. Time to go home.

299
00:14:41,350 –> 00:14:42,740
I can’t. I’m working.

300
00:14:43,450 –> 00:14:44,770
Mom, please.

301
00:14:47,380 –> 00:14:48,620
Let’s dance.

302
00:15:07,820 –> 00:15:09,570
You’re gonna do fine in jail.

303
00:15:13,820 –> 00:15:16,880
And as long as I’m coming clean,

304
00:15:16,880 –> 00:15:17,940
I might as well tell you

305
00:15:17,940 –> 00:15:20,290
I’ve been getting loaded
for a couple of months.

306
00:15:20,300 –> 00:15:22,120
And you flushed my drugs down the toilet?!

307
00:15:22,120 –> 00:15:24,520
Don’t be silly. I enjoyed them greatly.

308
00:15:26,300 –> 00:15:28,720
Anyhow, it’s time I got honest.

309
00:15:28,720 –> 00:15:31,710
Yeah, yeah, humble, open, beep-bop-boop.

310
00:15:33,820 –> 00:15:35,730
And I… I want to thank Christy

311
00:15:36,520 –> 00:15:40,110
for being the greatest
daughter in the world,

312
00:15:40,110 –> 00:15:43,030
even though I wasn’t exactly
mother of the year.

313
00:15:44,280 –> 00:15:45,110
Sorry.

314
00:15:46,690 –> 00:15:51,690
But most important, I am ready to do this program for real now,

315
00:15:51,700 –> 00:15:53,910
and not just for myself.

316
00:15:54,290 –> 00:15:55,410
But because…

317
00:15:56,170 –> 00:15:58,020
I never want to let you down again.

318
00:15:59,780 –> 00:16:01,790
I also have to thank Marjorie

319
00:16:01,790 –> 00:16:04,390
and Michael Strahan here.

320
00:16:04,800 –> 00:16:06,320
I know we’ve had our differences,

321
00:16:06,320 –> 00:16:09,260
but… I do love you guys.

322
00:16:09,350 –> 00:16:10,520
Who’s Michael Strahan?

323
00:16:10,520 –> 00:16:11,680
I’ll tell ya later.

324
00:16:13,970 –> 00:16:15,730
That’s it. Thanks.

325
00:16:15,810 –> 00:16:20,360
Thanks, Bonnie. Hi. I’m Christy. I’m an alcoholic.

326
00:16:20,360 –> 00:16:21,600
Hi, Christy.

327
00:16:25,770 –> 00:16:27,630
I am so pissed off at you!

328
00:16:27,790 –> 00:16:30,230
I mean, how many times do I have
to clean up your freakin’ mess?!

329
00:16:30,230 –> 00:16:33,160
You want to be my mother? Then
stop apologizing and step up!

330
00:16:33,170 –> 00:16:34,570
‘Cause Marjorie’s applied for the job,

331
00:16:34,570 –> 00:16:37,520
and that old, toothless junkie’s
looking damn good right now!

332
00:16:38,750 –> 00:16:39,960
Thanks, sweetie.

333
00:16:42,390 –> 00:16:46,280
So, anyway, just wanted to
get that off my chest.

334
00:16:47,120 –> 00:16:48,110
Love you, Mom.

335
00:16:49,490 –> 00:16:51,920
You are so lucky to have her as a daughter.

336
00:16:51,930 –> 00:16:53,660
Oh, what would you know?

337
00:16:56,160 –> 00:16:57,390
Oh, no.

338
00:17:05,430 –> 00:17:08,140
I just want you to know that
I heard you loud and clear

339
00:17:08,140 –> 00:17:11,270
in the meeting and until
I get back on my feet,

340
00:17:11,670 –> 00:17:15,420
my job is going to be making
your life as easy as possible.

341
00:17:16,010 –> 00:17:18,570
Oh, I don’t like the sound of that.

342
00:17:19,980 –> 00:17:22,730
No, don’t feel guilty. I want to do this.

343
00:17:23,470 –> 00:17:24,690
I’ll take care of Roscoe,

344
00:17:24,690 –> 00:17:27,510
I’ll clean the house, I’ll run errands.

345
00:17:27,510 –> 00:17:29,620
You know, as soon as I find my car.

346
00:17:31,320 –> 00:17:32,680
That would be a big help.

347
00:17:32,680 –> 00:17:35,440
And then, when Violet has the
baby, I can do a lot for her.

348
00:17:35,450 –> 00:17:37,350
You know, change diapers, night nurse.

349
00:17:37,350 –> 00:17:39,170
Hey, wet nurse, if I get lucky.

350
00:17:40,650 –> 00:17:43,240
The baby’s not due for five months.

351
00:17:43,330 –> 00:17:44,620
How long you planning on staying?

352
00:17:44,620 –> 00:17:47,130
Oh, don’t worry, I’ll know
when I’ve worn out my welcome.

353
00:17:50,440 –> 00:17:51,820
I’ll know sooner.

354
00:17:53,440 –> 00:17:55,430
So, what’s the plan?

355
00:17:55,430 –> 00:17:57,200
You going to start looking
for a job tomorrow?

356
00:17:57,200 –> 00:17:59,310
– Don’t need to. – Really?

357
00:17:59,540 –> 00:18:00,790
You already found something?

358
00:18:00,790 –> 00:18:03,420
Yep, I’m going to be a life coach.

359
00:18:03,670 –> 00:18:04,920
I’m sorry, what?

360
00:18:04,930 –> 00:18:07,110
My hard-won experience can help people

361
00:18:07,110 –> 00:18:08,840
overcome the obsticles in their lives,

362
00:18:08,840 –> 00:18:11,520
and then together, we create
a game plan for success

363
00:18:11,520 –> 00:18:13,740
and blobity, blah, blah, ca-ching.

364
00:18:14,720 –> 00:18:17,320
Hmm, and you don’t see
any credibility issues

365
00:18:17,320 –> 00:18:21,510
with you being broke,
homeless and one day sober?

366
00:18:22,290 –> 00:18:24,990
Eh, I’m not going to put
that in the brochure.

367
00:18:26,350 –> 00:18:27,360
Come on, try me out.

368
00:18:27,360 –> 00:18:28,740
Your life– what’s wrong?

369
00:18:29,760 –> 00:18:30,650
All right.

370
00:18:32,100 –> 00:18:34,140
My mother is sleeping in my living room.

371
00:18:34,220 –> 00:18:35,910
Easy. Remember that for nine months,

372
00:18:35,910 –> 00:18:39,830
you were sleeping in her living womb.

373
00:18:41,000 –> 00:18:42,310
See what I did there?

374
00:18:43,740 –> 00:18:44,770
Next.

375
00:18:48,410 –> 00:18:50,700
My teenaged daughter is pregnant…

376
00:18:50,700 –> 00:18:52,950
and she might run off

377
00:18:52,950 –> 00:18:54,930
to live with her knucklehead boyfriend.

378
00:18:54,930 –> 00:18:56,990
Well, first off, you need to keep in mind

379
00:18:57,000 –> 00:19:01,000
that every baby that comes into the world is a blessing from God.

380
00:19:01,000 –> 00:19:03,380
And secondly, if she does run off,

381
00:19:03,380 –> 00:19:05,280
a bed just freed up for you mom.

382
00:19:08,800 –> 00:19:10,860
Okay, here’s a biggie.

383
00:19:10,860 –> 00:19:11,580
Okay.

384
00:19:13,550 –> 00:19:17,120
How do I forgive a woman how has
disappointed me again and again?

385
00:19:17,430 –> 00:19:18,460
Well, if you had a lick of sense,

386
00:19:18,460 –> 00:19:19,760
you’d stop counting on her.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*