Học tiếng anh qua phim Mom phần 1 tập 7

1
00:00:07,770 –> 00:00:08,550
Hello?

2
00:00:08,560 –> 00:00:09,590
Are you awake?

3
00:00:11,380 –> 00:00:12,870
At 2:30 in the morning?

4
00:00:12,880 –> 00:00:14,270
You betcha.

5
00:00:15,840 –> 00:00:17,230
I think I’m pregnant.

6
00:00:18,790 –> 00:00:21,290
Oh, God, can I not be awake?

7
00:00:22,910 –> 00:00:24,830
How is that even possible?

8
00:00:24,970 –> 00:00:26,670
What kind of question is that?

9
00:00:26,670 –> 00:00:29,440
I happen to be in the bloom of my life.

10
00:00:31,460 –> 00:00:33,080
Half the men in Napa Valley

11
00:00:33,080 –> 00:00:35,120
have been in the bloom of your life.

12
00:00:36,660 –> 00:00:37,390
What?

13
00:00:37,390 –> 00:00:38,270
Nothing.

14
00:00:39,060 –> 00:00:40,290
Did you take a test?

15
00:00:40,790 –> 00:00:42,050
I don’t need to.

16
00:00:42,050 –> 00:00:43,440
I’ve got all the signs.

17
00:00:43,440 –> 00:00:44,920
I missed my period, I’m moody,

18
00:00:44,920 –> 00:00:47,160
my nipples are incredibly angry.

19
00:00:48,290 –> 00:00:50,840
Trust me, there’s fruit in these loins.

20
00:00:53,450 –> 00:00:54,410
No, no, no.

21
00:00:54,970 –> 00:00:56,000
My daughter and my mother

22
00:00:56,000 –> 00:00:58,440
cannot be pregnant at the same time.

23
00:00:58,730 –> 00:01:00,260
I don’t have the strength.

24
00:01:00,930 –> 00:01:02,590
Please don’t make this about you.

25
00:01:04,270 –> 00:01:07,090
Okay, look, maybe we’re worrying for no reason.

26
00:01:07,430 –> 00:01:08,760
First thing tomorrow morning,

27
00:01:08,760 –> 00:01:11,190
we’ll get you a doctor’s appointment just to be sure.

28
00:01:11,190 –> 00:01:13,990
Oh, God, why is this happening to me?

29
00:01:13,990 –> 00:01:15,100
Honestly?

30
00:01:16,520 –> 00:01:18,190
Do we need to have the talk again?

31
00:01:19,930 –> 00:01:21,690
I devoted the best years of my life

32
00:01:21,690 –> 00:01:23,230
to loving and nurturing a child.

33
00:01:23,230 –> 00:01:25,460
This was supposed to be my time.

34
00:01:26,830 –> 00:01:29,850
Boy, I would love to meet that child.

35
00:01:31,650 –> 00:01:33,110
Look, I gotta go back to sleep.

36
00:01:33,110 –> 00:01:34,440
But what am I supposed to do?

37
00:01:34,440 –> 00:01:35,460
I don’t know.

38
00:01:35,590 –> 00:01:39,330
Grab your calendar and see if you can figure out who the father is.

39
00:01:44,140 –> 00:01:46,920
Are you freakin’ kidding me?!

40
00:01:47,630 –> 00:01:50,050
You’re a lying son of a bitch!

41
00:01:50,050 –> 00:01:53,180
You shouldn’t even be allowed to practice in this country!

42
00:01:54,320 –> 00:01:56,260
Menopause, my ass.

43
00:02:01,310 –> 00:02:02,720
Hate to be her daughter.

44
00:02:25,660 –> 00:02:26,700
What are you doing?

45
00:02:26,880 –> 00:02:28,000
I’m hot.

46
00:02:29,050 –> 00:02:30,120
Get back in the car.

47
00:02:30,130 –> 00:02:31,820
You look like a Labradoodle.

48
00:02:33,820 –> 00:02:35,540
I think I just ate a bug.

49
00:02:37,420 –> 00:02:40,020
You know, menopause isn’t the end of the world.

50
00:02:40,020 –> 00:02:41,090
Easy for you to say.

51
00:02:41,090 –> 00:02:43,110
You can still provide a king with an heir.

52
00:02:43,570 –> 00:02:44,840
Oh, get real.

53
00:02:44,890 –> 00:02:46,200
The only king you’ve got a shot with

54
00:02:46,200 –> 00:02:47,920
is the King of Big Screens.

55
00:02:49,000 –> 00:02:50,410
All I am saying is

56
00:02:50,410 –> 00:02:51,850
what if I were to meet someone?

57
00:02:51,850 –> 00:02:54,230
Maybe a young guy who wants a family.

58
00:02:54,230 –> 00:02:55,560
You have a family.

59
00:02:55,560 –> 00:02:57,940
That doesn’t mean I can’t try for a better one.

60
00:02:59,930 –> 00:03:01,940
Want to know what I have to look forward to?

61
00:03:02,560 –> 00:03:04,790
Hot flashes, weight gain,

62
00:03:04,790 –> 00:03:07,910
decreased sex drive, incontinence.

63
00:03:07,990 –> 00:03:10,460
What kind of man is gonna want a piece of that action?

64
00:03:11,540 –> 00:03:12,650
I’m sure there’s a Web site

65
00:03:12,650 –> 00:03:14,980
for guys who are into fat, sweaty bed-wetters.

66
00:03:17,080 –> 00:03:19,440
Oh, I’m sorry, is this fun for you?

67
00:03:19,440 –> 00:03:21,820
Oh, come on, I’m just trying to lighten the mood.

68
00:03:22,490 –> 00:03:23,480
And yes.

69
00:03:24,830 –> 00:03:25,830
Oh, look.

70
00:03:25,830 –> 00:03:29,150
A tester tube of vaginal lubricant.

71
00:03:29,290 –> 00:03:31,560
Why don’t they just put a gun in here?

72
00:03:33,270 –> 00:03:35,050
Instead of focusing on all the cons,

73
00:03:35,050 –> 00:03:37,180
why don’t we try to make a list of the pros?

74
00:03:37,500 –> 00:03:38,130
Like…

75
00:03:38,130 –> 00:03:39,630
no more birth control worries.

76
00:03:39,630 –> 00:03:40,470
Right. If I were worried

77
00:03:40,470 –> 00:03:42,590
about birth control, you wouldn’t exist.

78
00:03:43,730 –> 00:03:47,280
Okay. Pro, no more PMS.

79
00:03:47,280 –> 00:03:49,590
So now when I’m a bitch I’m just a bitch?

80
00:03:50,860 –> 00:03:52,170
All righty.

81
00:03:53,240 –> 00:03:54,000
Pro…

82
00:03:54,000 –> 00:03:55,950
you’re entering the time in your life

83
00:03:55,950 –> 00:03:58,410
when you give back to loved ones and community.

84
00:03:58,410 –> 00:04:00,760
Oh, please, now you’re just making stuff up.

85
00:04:01,770 –> 00:04:02,940
Oh, God,

86
00:04:02,940 –> 00:04:05,040
where did the years go?

87
00:04:05,170 –> 00:04:06,180
You wasted ’em.

88
00:04:06,920 –> 00:04:07,720
I mean…

89
00:04:07,790 –> 00:04:09,070
it’s gonna be okay.

90
00:04:10,060 –> 00:04:13,670
No, it’s never gonna be okay again.

91
00:04:19,180 –> 00:04:21,510
Mom. Three o’clock.

92
00:04:26,790 –> 00:04:27,700
Are you okay?

93
00:04:27,700 –> 00:04:29,790
No, not really.

94
00:04:30,400 –> 00:04:31,790
Would a ride cheer you up?

95
00:04:32,720 –> 00:04:33,890
Don’t you dare.

96
00:04:35,380 –> 00:04:36,920
I deserve this.

97
00:04:38,310 –> 00:04:40,490
Yeah, I think it would.

98
00:04:40,600 –> 00:04:42,480
All right. Hop on.

99
00:04:44,910 –> 00:04:46,090
I’ll call you later.

100
00:04:47,430 –> 00:04:50,400
Stop, you’re making a terrible mistake!

101
00:04:50,400 –> 00:04:51,670
Don’t worry about me.

102
00:04:51,670 –> 00:04:53,090
Worry about him.

103
00:04:53,500 –> 00:04:55,680
I was talking to him!

104
00:05:01,280 –> 00:05:03,170
Mom, do you like circumcised men?

105
00:05:05,410 –> 00:05:07,760
Um, can I put my purse down

106
00:05:07,760 –> 00:05:09,840
before we have this conversation?

107
00:05:10,050 –> 00:05:11,370
Well, if we have a boy,

108
00:05:11,370 –> 00:05:13,000
Luke wants to get the baby snipped.

109
00:05:13,000 –> 00:05:15,220
Not snipped, streamlined.

110
00:05:16,840 –> 00:05:18,350
Tell him it’s not necessary.

111
00:05:18,350 –> 00:05:19,440
Oh, God.

112
00:05:19,960 –> 00:05:21,400
Luke, why don’t you have this conversation

113
00:05:21,400 –> 00:05:22,560
with your own parents?

114
00:05:22,560 –> 00:05:24,660
‘Cause his parents don’t know I’m pregnant.

115
00:05:25,510 –> 00:05:26,500
Wait, what?

116
00:05:26,850 –> 00:05:28,210
You told me they were thrilled

117
00:05:28,210 –> 00:05:29,760
and totally supportive.

118
00:05:30,540 –> 00:05:31,900
Yeah, well…

119
00:05:32,340 –> 00:05:33,660
that was sort of a…

120
00:05:34,340 –> 00:05:35,520
you know, lie.

121
00:05:38,120 –> 00:05:39,700
Luke, why didn’t you tell them?

122
00:05:39,700 –> 00:05:40,710
He’s scared of ’em.

123
00:05:40,710 –> 00:05:41,870
No, I’m not scared.

124
00:05:41,870 –> 00:05:43,700
It’s just… complicated.

125
00:05:43,980 –> 00:05:45,130
They’re not cool like you.

126
00:05:45,130 –> 00:05:46,710
My mother’s not cool.

127
00:05:46,710 –> 00:05:47,570
Hang on.

128
00:05:47,730 –> 00:05:48,850
Let the boy talk.

129
00:05:50,130 –> 00:05:51,940
I was just waiting for the right time.

130
00:05:52,810 –> 00:05:54,040
Which would be when?

131
00:05:55,060 –> 00:05:55,900
I don’t know.

132
00:05:57,160 –> 00:05:58,470
They’re old, they could die soon.

133
00:05:58,470 –> 00:05:59,720
Problem solved.

134
00:06:00,710 –> 00:06:02,920
Oh, sweetie, don’t wish for that.

135
00:06:03,160 –> 00:06:04,600
Besides, it doesn’t work.

136
00:06:05,020 –> 00:06:06,750
If anything, the parent lives longer.

137
00:06:08,750 –> 00:06:10,040
You need to tell your folks

138
00:06:10,040 –> 00:06:11,280
and you need to do it immediately.

139
00:06:11,290 –> 00:06:13,310
Oh, sack up.

140
00:06:13,310 –> 00:06:15,280
Did they snip off all of your penis?

141
00:06:16,630 –> 00:06:18,150
Violet, be nice.

142
00:06:19,280 –> 00:06:20,310
Go ahead.

143
00:06:20,930 –> 00:06:21,950
You can do it.

144
00:06:26,030 –> 00:06:27,430
Would you maybe come with me?

145
00:06:29,340 –> 00:06:32,010
This is something you have to do yourself.

146
00:06:32,950 –> 00:06:33,580
Encourage him.

147
00:06:33,580 –> 00:06:35,090
Oh, be a man.

148
00:06:38,330 –> 00:06:39,370
Seriously?

149
00:06:43,030 –> 00:06:45,970
The chef is especially happy with the catch of the day,

150
00:06:45,970 –> 00:06:48,040
which is a Copper River salmon, and…

151
00:06:48,050 –> 00:06:49,070
Psst.

152
00:06:49,270 –> 00:06:50,320
Need to talk.

153
00:06:52,430 –> 00:06:53,620
Sorry.

154
00:06:53,620 –> 00:06:55,160
the salmon is pan-seared

155
00:06:55,160 –> 00:06:57,400
with fingerling potatoes and savoy spinach.

156
00:06:57,400 –> 00:06:59,070
Fingerling…

157
00:07:00,400 –> 00:07:02,770
Uh, the other specials are heritage pork chop,

158
00:07:02,770 –> 00:07:04,530
Kobe beef and Maine lobster,

159
00:07:04,540 –> 00:07:06,200
which is flown in daily from…

160
00:07:06,700 –> 00:07:08,230
Anyone? Anyone?

161
00:07:08,710 –> 00:07:09,830
Maine.

162
00:07:10,200 –> 00:07:11,870
Okay, uh, I’ll be right back.

163
00:07:11,940 –> 00:07:12,640
Mom.

164
00:07:14,220 –> 00:07:15,060
What’s going on?

165
00:07:15,060 –> 00:07:17,670
My vagina is dead.

166
00:07:20,280 –> 00:07:21,740
What the hell are you talking about?

167
00:07:21,740 –> 00:07:23,200
That motorcycle guy.

168
00:07:23,200 –> 00:07:25,230
I took him back to my place, stripped off his clothes,

169
00:07:25,230 –> 00:07:27,710
ran my tongue up and down his gorgeous body

170
00:07:27,710 –> 00:07:28,520
and felt nothing.

171
00:07:28,530 –> 00:07:30,720
It was like I was licking a rock.

172
00:07:32,120 –> 00:07:33,080
I’m confused.

173
00:07:33,080 –> 00:07:34,470
Did you sleep with him or not?

174
00:07:34,470 –> 00:07:36,370
Not. I mean, I tried,

175
00:07:36,370 –> 00:07:38,470
but it was like I-I couldn’t get it up.

176
00:07:40,720 –> 00:07:44,030
I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was Take Your Mother to Work Day.

177
00:07:44,340 –> 00:07:45,900
Yeah, it comes right after

178
00:07:45,900 –> 00:07:48,410
Sleep with Your Married Boss Week.

179
00:07:50,260 –> 00:07:51,160
Carry on.

180
00:07:53,570 –> 00:07:54,620
Well, well.

181
00:07:55,730 –> 00:07:58,170
Who’s this beautiful, wounded bird?

182
00:07:59,360 –> 00:08:00,400
Don’t waste your time.

183
00:08:00,400 –> 00:08:02,420
I’m numb from the neck down.

184
00:08:03,830 –> 00:08:05,570
So the head’s still in play?

185
00:08:13,880 –> 00:08:15,860
Hold your horses, I’m coming.

186
00:08:17,250 –> 00:08:19,160
Ta-da!

187
00:08:22,370 –> 00:08:23,620
I figured it out.

188
00:08:23,620 –> 00:08:24,630
I’m not giving up.

189
00:08:24,630 –> 00:08:27,310
If I’m gonna go down, I’m gonna go down fighting.

190
00:08:27,310 –> 00:08:30,260
If it stands up to pee, I’m banging it.

191
00:08:32,470 –> 00:08:33,730
Glad to hear it.

192
00:08:34,090 –> 00:08:36,500
Let me introduce you to Luke’s parents.

193
00:08:38,080 –> 00:08:40,870
Nathan and Mary, this is my mother, Bonnie.

194
00:08:42,940 –> 00:08:43,980
Howdy-do.

195
00:08:57,610 –> 00:08:59,120
I just want to thank both of you

196
00:08:59,120 –> 00:09:02,110
for coming over so we can discuss the, uh…

197
00:09:02,730 –> 00:09:04,890
Child conceived in sin?

198
00:09:09,190 –> 00:09:11,480
You’re right, I am the cool parent.

199
00:09:13,810 –> 00:09:15,290
Luke, did you learn nothing

200
00:09:15,290 –> 00:09:17,240
from your father’s Bible class?

201
00:09:17,240 –> 00:09:18,330
I’m sorry, what?

202
00:09:19,210 –> 00:09:20,860
– Bible class? – Yes.

203
00:09:20,870 –> 00:09:22,330
Nathan is the head pastor

204
00:09:22,330 –> 00:09:24,060
at the Baptist Church in Santa Rosa.

205
00:09:24,060 –> 00:09:26,910
Oh, that’s just hilarious.

206
00:09:28,590 –> 00:09:29,460
Right?

207
00:09:31,230 –> 00:09:32,430
I’m so sorry, Father.

208
00:09:34,630 –> 00:09:36,020
All right, I just want to say

209
00:09:36,020 –> 00:09:38,260
that we’ve all really come to love your son

210
00:09:38,260 –> 00:09:40,300
and I know that my daughter is crazy about him,

211
00:09:40,300 –> 00:09:43,520
so I’m sure there’s a happy ending in here somewhere.

212
00:09:43,520 –> 00:09:45,260
If Violet just gave him a happy ending, we…

213
00:09:45,260 –> 00:09:46,020
Mom!

214
00:09:49,750 –> 00:09:53,280
I’m sorry, I-I’m about a quart low on the estrogen.

215
00:09:55,180 –> 00:09:56,730
You know what I’m talking about, right?

216
00:09:58,190 –> 00:09:59,020
Look…

217
00:09:59,220 –> 00:10:00,870
here’s what’s going to happen.

218
00:10:01,210 –> 00:10:03,190
All of this nonsense about these two kids

219
00:10:03,190 –> 00:10:06,240
getting married after high school is just that, nonsense.

220
00:10:06,250 –> 00:10:07,770
It is not going to happen.

221
00:10:07,990 –> 00:10:09,690
Now, as far as the child is concerned,

222
00:10:09,690 –> 00:10:11,310
Luke will provide financial support,

223
00:10:11,310 –> 00:10:13,450
if in fact it turns out to be his.

224
00:10:13,450 –> 00:10:14,360
What?

225
00:10:14,390 –> 00:10:15,340
Violet, I got this.

226
00:10:15,340 –> 00:10:16,190
What?

227
00:10:17,950 –> 00:10:18,910
We don’t know for sure

228
00:10:18,910 –> 00:10:20,630
that our son is the only boy

229
00:10:20,630 –> 00:10:22,890
your little temptress has been with.

230
00:10:23,590 –> 00:10:24,610
Okay, buddy.

231
00:10:24,680 –> 00:10:25,370
Let’s get something clear…

232
00:10:25,370 –> 00:10:27,290
Christy, I got this.

233
00:10:28,500 –> 00:10:31,230
Here’s all you need to know about this family.

234
00:10:31,230 –> 00:10:33,010
With every generation,

235
00:10:33,010 –> 00:10:34,150
we are getting better.

236
00:10:34,150 –> 00:10:35,070
That’s right.

237
00:10:39,220 –> 00:10:41,620
So, I may have been a drunken slut…

238
00:10:41,620 –> 00:10:42,700
She was.

239
00:10:44,190 –> 00:10:46,130
…and my daughter may have been a drunken slut…

240
00:10:46,130 –> 00:10:47,290
Hang on a second.

241
00:10:47,890 –> 00:10:48,670
What?

242
00:10:48,800 –> 00:10:50,240
Never mind. Go on.

243
00:10:51,120 –> 00:10:54,420
…but my granddaughter, this tender angel,

244
00:10:54,420 –> 00:10:56,360
she was pure as the driven snow

245
00:10:56,360 –> 00:10:59,400
until she smoked your son’s weed, drank his tequila,

246
00:10:59,410 –> 00:11:02,510
and then made passionate love with him for about two minutes.

247
00:11:04,820 –> 00:11:06,440
Am I telling it right, honey?

248
00:11:06,510 –> 00:11:07,620
Yeah, sorta.

249
00:11:08,970 –> 00:11:11,270
So don’t you take the high road with us, Pastor.

250
00:11:11,270 –> 00:11:14,920
I know your type. I have bedded my share of clergy.

251
00:11:21,600 –> 00:11:23,290
Mary, Luke, let’s go.

252
00:11:23,680 –> 00:11:27,740
No, I love Violet and I’m gonna stick by her for as long as she’ll have me.

253
00:11:27,740 –> 00:11:28,510
Get in the car.

254
00:11:28,510 –> 00:11:29,490
I’ll call you later.

255
00:11:31,920 –> 00:11:33,030
Hey, Pastor?

256
00:11:33,860 –> 00:11:36,950
I just want you to know, we’re gonna raise the baby Jewish.

257
00:11:38,670 –> 00:11:42,000
And we’re not Jews!

258
00:11:43,940 –> 00:11:45,810
Shalom, bitch!

259
00:11:56,630 –> 00:11:58,070
Um, it-it’s open.

260
00:12:01,760 –> 00:12:02,830
How ya doin’?

261
00:12:03,920 –> 00:12:04,840
Okay.

262
00:12:05,820 –> 00:12:08,160
I’m sorry about all that.

263
00:12:08,780 –> 00:12:09,480
I guess you can see

264
00:12:09,480 –> 00:12:11,250
why we don’t do a lot of entertaining.

265
00:12:13,150 –> 00:12:14,870
There’s nothing to be sorry about.

266
00:12:14,870 –> 00:12:16,570
You and Grandma were great today.

267
00:12:16,960 –> 00:12:17,850
You think?

268
00:12:17,850 –> 00:12:19,380
Yeah. For the first time in my life

269
00:12:19,380 –> 00:12:21,620
I felt like we were the normal family.

270
00:12:21,620 –> 00:12:24,350
Me, too! It’s so weird.

271
00:12:26,150 –> 00:12:27,720
So, are you in touch with Luke?

272
00:12:28,250 –> 00:12:29,100
No.

273
00:12:29,270 –> 00:12:30,990
Oh, honey, I’m sorry.

274
00:12:31,500 –> 00:12:32,820
I know what you’re going through.

275
00:12:32,820 –> 00:12:35,020
When I was your age, I had a boyfriend

276
00:12:35,020 –> 00:12:37,080
whose parents just hated my guts.

277
00:12:37,080 –> 00:12:39,030
– Really? – Yeah.

278
00:12:39,850 –> 00:12:41,800
To be fair, we were on pretty good terms

279
00:12:41,800 –> 00:12:44,170
until I got drunk and burned their garage down.

280
00:12:44,780 –> 00:12:46,630
They were really judgey about it.

281
00:12:47,600 –> 00:12:49,900
Luke’s parents were always really nice to me,

282
00:12:49,900 –> 00:12:51,580
I mean, until today.

283
00:12:52,330 –> 00:12:55,930
Well, until today, you were his high school sweetheart.

284
00:12:56,820 –> 00:12:58,680
Now you’re his white trash baby mama.

285
00:13:00,620 –> 00:13:01,970
Guess it doesn’t matter anyway

286
00:13:01,970 –> 00:13:03,680
’cause I think we should break up.

287
00:13:04,100 –> 00:13:07,050
I’m gonna tell Luke to start dating other people.

288
00:13:07,490 –> 00:13:10,620
Oh, honey, are you sure that’s a good idea?

289
00:13:10,860 –> 00:13:13,970
I mean, he is the baby’s father,

290
00:13:14,530 –> 00:13:16,350
and more importantly, he thinks I’m cool.

291
00:13:17,970 –> 00:13:21,790
Christy! Call 911! I’m having a heart attack!

292
00:13:22,550 –> 00:13:23,550
No, you’re not.

293
00:13:25,820 –> 00:13:28,800
It might be a stroke! I smell toast!

294
00:13:30,330 –> 00:13:31,510
I’m here if you need me.

295
00:13:31,510 –> 00:13:32,550
Thanks.

296
00:13:32,910 –> 00:13:35,450
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!

297
00:13:35,450 –> 00:13:36,740
Shouldn’t you hurry?

298
00:13:37,010 –> 00:13:39,060
False alarm, just gas!

299
00:13:42,910 –> 00:13:44,160
There you go.

300
00:13:44,690 –> 00:13:47,610
A good night’s sleep gonna make all the difference.

301
00:13:47,620 –> 00:13:48,670
Thanks.

302
00:13:49,970 –> 00:13:51,590
Am I pretty?

303
00:13:53,550 –> 00:13:54,440
What?

304
00:13:55,010 –> 00:13:57,930
Yes, of course. You’re beautiful.

305
00:13:57,930 –> 00:13:59,680
I don’t feel beautiful.

306
00:13:59,830 –> 00:14:02,610
I feel like a man trapped in a man’s body.

307
00:14:04,720 –> 00:14:06,170
Stop it.

308
00:14:06,210 –> 00:14:08,660
All the stuff you’re worrying about is in your head.

309
00:14:08,740 –> 00:14:09,950
It’s not really happening.

310
00:14:09,950 –> 00:14:11,170
Are you saying I’m crazy?

311
00:14:11,170 –> 00:14:15,570
No. I mean, not in this context.

312
00:14:17,240 –> 00:14:18,790
Is Violet mad at me?

313
00:14:19,180 –> 00:14:21,870
Quite the contrary, she’s actually proud of you.

314
00:14:21,870 –> 00:14:23,410
– Really? – Yeah!

315
00:14:23,410 –> 00:14:25,900
She thought you were awesome with Luke’s dad.

316
00:14:26,220 –> 00:14:29,390
And get this, she called us the normal family.

317
00:14:29,470 –> 00:14:31,140
Shut up!

318
00:14:31,140 –> 00:14:33,760
Yeah, that’s a first.

319
00:14:34,860 –> 00:14:37,250
Okay, let’s get some shut-eye.

320
00:14:37,250 –> 00:14:39,600
I’m sure everything will look better in the morning.

321
00:14:39,610 –> 00:14:40,690
I hope so.

322
00:14:40,850 –> 00:14:42,540
I’ll tell you one thing I’m not imagining.

323
00:14:42,540 –> 00:14:44,250
I am losing my hair.

324
00:14:44,260 –> 00:14:47,610
Oh, Mom, please, don’t be ridiculous.

325
00:14:47,610 –> 00:14:49,310
Your hair is amazing.

326
00:14:49,350 –> 00:14:50,910
Now go to sleep.

327
00:15:00,960 –> 00:15:02,490
Sweet dreams.

328
00:15:08,810 –> 00:15:09,690
Mom.

329
00:15:10,490 –> 00:15:11,370
What?

330
00:15:11,450 –> 00:15:13,160
Something’s wrong with Grandma.

331
00:15:15,270 –> 00:15:17,110
You’re late to the party, dude.

332
00:15:23,560 –> 00:15:24,400
Mom?

333
00:15:24,660 –> 00:15:26,840
Good morning, loved ones.

334
00:15:28,730 –> 00:15:29,830
See?

335
00:15:31,790 –> 00:15:33,270
You… feeling okay?

336
00:15:33,270 –> 00:15:34,050
Never better.

337
00:15:34,050 –> 00:15:35,700
Come, sit, enjoy.

338
00:15:35,710 –> 00:15:37,800
I’ve made scrambled eggs, pancakes, bacon,

339
00:15:37,800 –> 00:15:39,390
hash browns, toast, oatmeal.

340
00:15:39,390 –> 00:15:43,890
All sprinkled with a healthy dollop of Grandmama’s love.

341
00:15:47,980 –> 00:15:49,220
Mom, let go of his cheek.

342
00:15:49,220 –> 00:15:51,920
Oh, sorry, he’s just so pinchable

343
00:15:51,920 –> 00:15:54,080
and so, mmm, kissable

344
00:15:54,080 –> 00:15:57,100
and so, ooh, squeezable.

345
00:15:57,990 –> 00:15:59,220
Help me.

346
00:16:00,840 –> 00:16:02,300
Yeah, yeah-yeah, we all love him.

347
00:16:02,300 –> 00:16:03,640
Come on. Sit down.

348
00:16:04,750 –> 00:16:08,880
Wow, this is really quite a spread.

349
00:16:10,370 –> 00:16:11,360
What brought this on?

350
00:16:11,360 –> 00:16:15,930
Well, I woke up in the middle of the night and realized, since I’m clearly no longer a sexual being,

351
00:16:15,930 –> 00:16:17,890
I needed to find a new identity.

352
00:16:19,510 –> 00:16:21,680
Okay, I get that.

353
00:16:22,380 –> 00:16:23,460
So…

354
00:16:24,550 –> 00:16:25,910
what’d you settle on?

355
00:16:27,220 –> 00:16:29,170
Well, isn’t it obvious?

356
00:16:29,170 –> 00:16:30,300
I’m the mother.

357
00:16:30,300 –> 00:16:31,590
The-the caregiver.

358
00:16:31,590 –> 00:16:33,520
The nurturing crone.

359
00:16:35,570 –> 00:16:37,520
Who’s got your nose?!

360
00:16:38,650 –> 00:16:40,140
Put the nose down, Mom.

361
00:16:41,100 –> 00:16:41,970
I’ll get it.

362
00:16:43,620 –> 00:16:44,770
I’m scared.

363
00:16:45,440 –> 00:16:46,420
You should be.

364
00:16:49,900 –> 00:16:51,090
Where’s my son?

365
00:16:51,470 –> 00:16:53,510
I haven’t the faintest clue.

366
00:16:55,760 –> 00:16:56,890
Are you mocking me?

367
00:16:56,890 –> 00:16:58,960
Well, whatever do you mean, sir?

368
00:16:59,700 –> 00:17:00,740
Mom, please.

369
00:17:01,240 –> 00:17:02,010
What’s going on?

370
00:17:02,010 –> 00:17:04,540
Luke has disappeared. I assumed he’d be here.

371
00:17:04,540 –> 00:17:05,670
Well, he’s not.

372
00:17:05,840 –> 00:17:07,290
Would you mind checking?

373
00:17:08,480 –> 00:17:09,310
Sure.

374
00:17:31,990 –> 00:17:33,380
Violet’s gone, too.

375
00:17:34,050 –> 00:17:36,360
Luke told me he was going to end the relationship.

376
00:17:36,360 –> 00:17:37,780
She told me the same thing.

377
00:17:37,780 –> 00:17:39,340
It appears they’ve run off.

378
00:17:39,340 –> 00:17:40,280
You think?

379
00:17:40,780 –> 00:17:41,680
Stop!

380
00:17:48,180 –> 00:17:50,760
I suppose both of us bear some responsibility

381
00:17:50,760 –> 00:17:52,160
for this turn of events.

382
00:17:52,160 –> 00:17:53,540
I don’t think so.

383
00:17:53,550 –> 00:17:56,000
Those kids were loved and accepted in my house!

384
00:17:56,000 –> 00:17:57,140
You drove them away!

385
00:17:57,140 –> 00:17:59,890
I was trying to keep my son from ruining his life.

386
00:18:00,630 –> 00:18:03,390
Okay, do you see how that’s a little offensive

387
00:18:03,400 –> 00:18:05,850
when the thing ruining his life is my daughter?!

388
00:18:05,850 –> 00:18:07,700
That’s not what I meant.

389
00:18:08,800 –> 00:18:09,910
Could you help me out here?

390
00:18:09,910 –> 00:18:11,430
Sorry, I’m the crazy one.

391
00:18:15,480 –> 00:18:17,940
Look, I’m not thrilled about this pregnancy either,

392
00:18:17,940 –> 00:18:19,570
but that doesn’t really matter.

393
00:18:20,000 –> 00:18:21,410
All we can do at this point

394
00:18:21,410 –> 00:18:23,160
is keep loving them,

395
00:18:24,120 –> 00:18:26,030
even though they make it so hard!

396
00:18:28,090 –> 00:18:31,990
All right, perhaps I haven’t handled this very well.

397
00:18:31,990 –> 00:18:32,940
Haven’t handled it well?

398
00:18:32,940 –> 00:18:34,690
You screwed the pooch, Pastor.

399
00:18:36,830 –> 00:18:38,730
The question is, what are we gonna do now?

400
00:18:39,980 –> 00:18:41,520
What do you suggest?

401
00:18:43,950 –> 00:18:46,720
I suggest we come together as adults

402
00:18:47,090 –> 00:18:49,740
and help these kids who love each other

403
00:18:49,930 –> 00:18:51,890
do whatever the hell it is they’re gonna do!

404
00:18:54,220 –> 00:18:56,300
Well, I think that’s very wise.

405
00:18:56,940 –> 00:18:59,080
Welcome to the dark side.

406
00:19:00,940 –> 00:19:03,680
Ooh, Virginia’s alive!

407
00:19:06,470 –> 00:19:11,000
What kind of idiot changes his Facebook status to single?!

408
00:19:11,010 –> 00:19:13,490
Hey, it was your idea we should start seeing other people!

409
00:19:13,490 –> 00:19:14,870
That was just to trick our parents

410
00:19:14,870 –> 00:19:17,320
so we could run away to Vegas and get married!

411
00:19:17,320 –> 00:19:18,960
Well, you should’ve made that clear!

412
00:19:18,960 –> 00:19:21,070
Well, I shouldn’t have to!

413
00:19:26,980 –> 00:19:29,120
So, as you may have heard, change of plans.

414
00:19:40,330 –> 00:19:43,890
This is nice, all of us having dinner together.

415
00:19:43,950 –> 00:19:45,370
– It is nice. – Mm-hmm.

416
00:19:48,490 –> 00:19:49,700
Do you need to answer that?

417
00:19:49,700 –> 00:19:51,500
No, it’s just a text from Luke.

418
00:19:52,170 –> 00:19:54,650
So, what’s going on with you two?

419
00:19:54,710 –> 00:19:56,310
He wants us to get back together.

420
00:19:57,100 –> 00:19:58,280
And he loves me.

421
00:19:58,690 –> 00:19:59,680
A lot.

422
00:20:02,040 –> 00:20:03,440
Shouldn’t you text him back?

423
00:20:03,700 –> 00:20:04,770
No, not yet.

424
00:20:04,770 –> 00:20:06,460
Let him sweat for awhile.

425
00:20:06,720 –> 00:20:08,890
Speaking of which, guess who stopped sweating?

426
00:20:10,600 –> 00:20:12,120
The estrogen patch is helping?

427
00:20:12,120 –> 00:20:15,390
I am happy to report that I’m dry in all the right places now.

428
00:20:15,600 –> 00:20:16,340
Good.

429
00:20:16,340 –> 00:20:18,100
– And conversely… – Got it.

430
00:20:20,420 –> 00:20:22,110
How about the mood swings?

431
00:20:22,250 –> 00:20:24,680
Much improved, thanks to hormone therapy.

432
00:20:25,520 –> 00:20:28,000
Ugh, I don’t really like these vegetables.

433
00:20:28,130 –> 00:20:29,180
No problem.

434
00:20:34,630 –> 00:20:36,440
We’re still working on the dosage.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*